that was the most beautiful drive yet, right at golden hour over the pass oh god I am having west side of the state FEELS
— nayyirah waheed (via auilic)
Holger Lippmann - Perlin Scape 1 (2011)
"The Perlin Scape 1 series is based on a perlin noise algorithm, which generates color map dependent line by line sequences of either ellipses or rectangles on a 2 dimensional surface.
This software works with different keyboard input values to compose a rather painting-like image out of different color maps. These map arrays are called by random, noise and/or manual order.”
5 hours later…
alive because nyquil
of course the one week out of the entire year i get sick is also the week i have to pull over 45 hours at work
"Take me to church, I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies, I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife. Offer me that deathless death, Good God, let me give you my life."
These girls aren’t wounded so much as post-wounded, and I see their sisters everywhere. They’re over it. I am not a melodramatic person. God help the woman who is. What I’ll call “post-wounded” isn’t a shift in deep feeling (we understand these women still hurt) but a shift away from wounded affect: These women are aware that “woundedness” is overdone and overrated. They are wary of melodrama, so they stay numb or clever instead. Post-wounded women make jokes about being wounded or get impatient with women who hurt too much. The post-wounded woman conducts herself as if preempting certain accusations: Don’t cry too loud; don’t play victim. Don’t ask for pain meds you don’t need; don’t give those doctors another reason to doubt. Post-wounded women fuck men who don’t love them and then they feel mildly sad about it, or just blasé about it; they refuse to hurt about it or to admit they hurt about it—or else they are endlessly self-aware about it, if they do allow themselves this hurting.
The post-wounded posture is claustrophobic: jadedness, aching gone implicit, sarcasm quick on the heels of anything that might look like self-pity. I see it in female writers and their female narrators, troves of stories about vaguely dissatisfied women who no longer fully own their feelings. Pain is everywhere and nowhere. Post-wounded women know that postures of pain play into limited and outmoded conceptions of womanhood. Their hurt has a new native language spoken in several dialects: sarcastic, jaded, opaque; cool and clever. They guard against those moments when melodrama or self-pity might split their careful seams of intellect, expose the shame of self-absorption without self-awareness.”
Tried my (left)hand at calligraphy last night.
i’m watching the lectures from a Coursera class on extrasolar planets and at the end of the course you create your own solar system and i am enjoying this a little too much